you know how "they" say that you should keep a journal, that writing is like therapy? it totally is, i miss having the time to blog daily. i LOVE reading other peoples' blogs; finding people i don't even know, and reading about their life stories, hearing their frustrations, and fears, and joys, is, for some reason, so therapeutic. i have found some really, really cool blogs of some really great women out in the blog world. it is so encouraging to read blogs of other women, half way across the US and to hear them say the same things that are running through my head on a daily basis. as a mom, it is so easy to get bogged down, to feel guilty, to feel like that never-ending list of to-do's will never, ever go away. When I pull my head up out of the muck and realize that i'm not alone, i feel so much better.
some of my thoughts lately:
WHY is my eldest child so difficult? does anybody else feel like they are c-o-n-s-t-a-n-t-l-y saying "(insert name), don't do that, get down from there, that's not nice, we don't do that to our friends, i don't like that tone of voice you're using, leave your brother alone, give that back to him, don't hit, get back in your bed, put your clothes on RIGHT NOW, do you want another spanking, ok TIME OUT, stop it RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", woofda, see, i already feel better, writing IS therapy! but seriously, somebody please for the love everything holy PLEASE tell me that it will get better, that all of this will mean that he'll be a strong, confident, outgoing, leader someday! please, just tell me that (even if you don't believe it) :) there are days when i lay my head down at the end of the night and wonder if i did anything OTHER than discipline drew 100 bazillion times! and then there are days when he makes me so proud to be his mommy, he is such a sweet child, loves to help mommy, wants to be just like daddy, and ADORES his little brother. ahhh (deep breath) these our the days of our lives.............
6 comments:
Yes! It is so hard!!! I feel like there is such an extreme range of emotions. Sometimes I look at Noah and think, "Why!?!?!?!" His energy and constant need to test makes me angry and sad and exhausted. Then there are those moments of love and pride, like you said. Chris and I have decided to write letters to our loved ones and put them in our secured box at the bank, in case we would pass away. Last night I worked on Noah & Asher's for a little bit and I was weeping. While these days are so challenging, thinking of not having them puts things into perspective so quickly. I couldn't imagine even a second of not being here with them and thinking of them alone. I went and just laid on Noah's bed and watched him sleep for awhile, then went into Asher's room and held him. Love & grace ends up extending over it all. It's so cliche - but it's just like God with us. I KNOW there have to be times when God feels like he's barking the same orders at me, yet at the end of the night, He loves me just the same. Geeeezzz!! This sounds like a sermon message. I'm so sorry - you're getting all of my thoughts this morning! :) I'll stop now - but know you're NOT ALONE and you're a wonderful mom! Drew is such a smart, sweet boy. You and Scott have done a fabulous job. Have a great day!
Ummm, I will keep reminding you that it gets better if you promise to remind me of the same thing! My oldest is quite challenging as well. I also think it just means she will be a strong independent woman someday....but for right now it is SOOOOO frustrating! I totally sympathize!
ugh, did you read my comment on alisa's blog about the dr. phil thing? ya, been there! ha ha!
is it me, or do i hear a vaca calling all of us moms?????
*sigh*
Wow. I could have WRITTEN this blog!!! I feel that way SO many days... You are not alone!!! (and I'm glad I'm not either ;) ). I'm glad you have this outlet to write about it and gain encouragement from other people! =)
One more thing...and yes, if you can see the time when I wrote this it really is 6:17 and I've been up all night and Kaeden's been up since 5:45...soooo if this doesn't make sense you will know why.
Ok, I DO know from school/college, teaching, reading etc. that it is so hard for 3 year olds to share and learn certain social skills. It's such a normal thing for them to play beside each other and want to do their own thing most of the time beside their friends than actually play with them. Sometimes this takes until they are 4 or 5 to really stop doing this. I remember a child psychologist reminding us of this when I was teaching 3 year olds at SOTV Church. We forget this sometimes. It is seriously just not a concept they are ready to learn yet, but they will! I know you probably already know this, but just about everyone on here that commented has a child who is around this age so I thought I would shed some light. I hate when Kaeden acts up, and it is so hard, but it does feel lightyears better when I remember what I know about kids, and remind myself that obviously he is normal and he'll get over it as long as we just keep encouraging them in the right direction.
NOW - someone tell me this getting up at 6 or before everyday is a phase too before I barf!!!!!
Alright...this post. My life story EVERYDAY~
I lie down at night and think, "Did the boys see any joy from me AT ALL today?"
Buidling men is tough stuff, I tell you.
WE CAN DO IT!!!!
.mac :)
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